| Living vicariously through student | Entire family in tow | Overly proud Alumnus | "Free" services offered at school even though you're paying for it all | Crying Mom or Dad |
| Parent explaining why they turned down Ivy League school Bonus: "It wasn't a good fit" |
Know It All parent explaining things for school | Parent telling everyone how smart their kid is | Parent asking how to contact student if they don't answer phone | Meaningless statistics about the incoming class of freshmen |
| Someone saying "this is just a stepping stone" | Parent discussing "full ride" scholarship | FREE SPACE |
University President | Parent dropping ACT/SAT scores |
| Parent excited kid will rush for their fraternity/sorority | Lost/late parent Bonus: They apologize loudly |
Swag vultures (they grab 2 or 3 of all the free stuff) |
Parent asking about laundry | You hear of a major you never knew existed "Is that real?" |
| Sleeping parent | Loud ringing cell phone Bonus: They stare at it while it rings |
Parent upset kid is at this school | Campus Bookstore | Coffee |