| Worrisome parent Asks "what if..." too much |
"Free" services offered at school even though you're paying for it all | Parent upset kid is at this school | Campus Bookstore | Know It All parent explaining things for school |
| Swag vultures (they grab 2 or 3 of all the free stuff) |
Parent asking how to contact student if they don't answer phone | Student's boyfriend/girlfriend already goes here | Hors d'oeuvres Bonus: Someone takes some to-go |
Parent asking about laundry |
| Question for every topic | Parent telling everyone how smart their kid is | FREE SPACE |
Overly proud Alumnus | University President |
| Someone saying "this is just a stepping stone" | Lost/late parent Bonus: They apologize loudly |
Parent dropping ACT/SAT scores | Sleeping parent | Parent excited kid will rush for their fraternity/sorority |
| Crying Mom or Dad | Meaningless statistics about the incoming class of freshmen | You hear of a major you never knew existed "Is that real?" |
Parent explaining why they turned down Ivy League school Bonus: "It wasn't a good fit" |
Loud ringing cell phone Bonus: They stare at it while it rings |