| Parent dropping ACT/SAT scores | Student's boyfriend/girlfriend already goes here | Living vicariously through student | Parent discussing "full ride" scholarship | Parent telling everyone how smart their kid is |
| Lost/late parent Bonus: They apologize loudly |
Entire family in tow | Parent explaining why they turned down Ivy League school Bonus: "It wasn't a good fit" |
Parent asking how to contact student if they don't answer phone | Swag vultures (they grab 2 or 3 of all the free stuff) |
| Parent asking how to check student grades Bonus: School doesn't mention FERPA |
University President | FREE SPACE |
Question for every topic | Loud ringing cell phone Bonus: They stare at it while it rings |
| Parent upset kid is at this school | Parent excited kid will rush for their fraternity/sorority | Worrisome parent Asks "what if..." too much |
Sleeping parent | "Free" services offered at school even though you're paying for it all |
| Campus Bookstore | University administrator which nobody is too sure what they do | Hors d'oeuvres Bonus: Someone takes some to-go |
You hear of a major you never knew existed "Is that real?" |
Crying Mom or Dad |