| Meaningless statistics about the incoming class of freshmen | Entire family in tow | Loud ringing cell phone Bonus: They stare at it while it rings |
Parent asking about laundry | University President |
| Student's boyfriend/girlfriend already goes here | Swag vultures (they grab 2 or 3 of all the free stuff) |
Hors d'oeuvres Bonus: Someone takes some to-go |
Crying Mom or Dad | Living vicariously through student |
| Know It All parent explaining things for school | "Free" services offered at school even though you're paying for it all | FREE SPACE |
University administrator which nobody is too sure what they do | Campus Bookstore |
| Parent explaining why they turned down Ivy League school Bonus: "It wasn't a good fit" |
Worrisome parent Asks "what if..." too much |
Parent telling everyone how smart their kid is | Parent upset kid is at this school | Parent discussing "full ride" scholarship |
| Sleeping parent | Parent asking how to contact student if they don't answer phone | Question for every topic | Overly proud Alumnus | Someone saying "this is just a stepping stone" |