| "Free" services offered at school even though you're paying for it all | Parent asking how to check student grades Bonus: School doesn't mention FERPA |
Parent excited kid will rush for their fraternity/sorority | Know It All parent explaining things for school | Living vicariously through student |
| Overly proud Alumnus | Parent asking how to contact student if they don't answer phone | Swag vultures (they grab 2 or 3 of all the free stuff) |
Parent discussing "full ride" scholarship | Coffee |
| Question for every topic | Sleeping parent | FREE SPACE |
Lost/late parent Bonus: They apologize loudly |
Hors d'oeuvres Bonus: Someone takes some to-go |
| Campus Bookstore | Parent explaining why they turned down Ivy League school Bonus: "It wasn't a good fit" |
Worrisome parent Asks "what if..." too much |
Loud ringing cell phone Bonus: They stare at it while it rings |
Student's boyfriend/girlfriend already goes here |
| Entire family in tow | Parent asking about laundry | Crying Mom or Dad | Parent dropping ACT/SAT scores | Parent upset kid is at this school |