| Parent excited kid will rush for their fraternity/sorority | Overly proud Alumnus | Sleeping parent | Entire family in tow | Parent asking about laundry |
| Crying Mom or Dad | Lost/late parent Bonus: They apologize loudly |
Living vicariously through student | University administrator which nobody is too sure what they do | Parent explaining why they turned down Ivy League school Bonus: "It wasn't a good fit" |
| You hear of a major you never knew existed "Is that real?" |
Student's boyfriend/girlfriend already goes here | FREE SPACE |
Campus Bookstore | Parent upset kid is at this school |
| Someone saying "this is just a stepping stone" | University President | Parent telling everyone how smart their kid is | Hors d'oeuvres Bonus: Someone takes some to-go |
Parent asking how to contact student if they don't answer phone |
| Loud ringing cell phone Bonus: They stare at it while it rings |
Meaningless statistics about the incoming class of freshmen | Parent discussing "full ride" scholarship | Parent asking how to check student grades Bonus: School doesn't mention FERPA |
Question for every topic |