| Parent explaining why they turned down Ivy League school Bonus: "It wasn't a good fit" |
Parent excited kid will rush for their fraternity/sorority | University President | Entire family in tow | University administrator which nobody is too sure what they do |
| Overly proud Alumnus | Coffee | Campus Bookstore | "Free" services offered at school even though you're paying for it all | Lost/late parent Bonus: They apologize loudly |
| Sleeping parent | Parent discussing "full ride" scholarship | FREE SPACE |
Living vicariously through student | Parent upset kid is at this school |
| You hear of a major you never knew existed "Is that real?" |
Worrisome parent Asks "what if..." too much |
Parent asking how to check student grades Bonus: School doesn't mention FERPA |
Hors d'oeuvres Bonus: Someone takes some to-go |
Parent asking about laundry |
| Student's boyfriend/girlfriend already goes here | Know It All parent explaining things for school | Crying Mom or Dad | Question for every topic | Parent telling everyone how smart their kid is |