| Parent excited kid will rush for their fraternity/sorority | Swag vultures (they grab 2 or 3 of all the free stuff) |
Meaningless statistics about the incoming class of freshmen | "Free" services offered at school even though you're paying for it all | Overly proud Alumnus |
| Living vicariously through student | Entire family in tow | Sleeping parent | Loud ringing cell phone Bonus: They stare at it while it rings |
Student's boyfriend/girlfriend already goes here |
| Coffee | University President | FREE SPACE |
Crying Mom or Dad | Parent asking how to check student grades Bonus: School doesn't mention FERPA |
| Parent asking about laundry | Lost/late parent Bonus: They apologize loudly |
Parent asking how to contact student if they don't answer phone | Campus Bookstore | Parent discussing "full ride" scholarship |
| You hear of a major you never knew existed "Is that real?" |
Someone saying "this is just a stepping stone" | Parent dropping ACT/SAT scores | Hors d'oeuvres Bonus: Someone takes some to-go |
Parent upset kid is at this school |