| Meaningless statistics about the incoming class of freshmen | Parent explaining why they turned down Ivy League school Bonus: "It wasn't a good fit" |
Parent asking how to check student grades Bonus: School doesn't mention FERPA |
Worrisome parent Asks "what if..." too much |
Lost/late parent Bonus: They apologize loudly |
| Sleeping parent | "Free" services offered at school even though you're paying for it all | Overly proud Alumnus | Parent excited kid will rush for their fraternity/sorority | Parent asking about laundry |
| Parent telling everyone how smart their kid is | Parent upset kid is at this school | FREE SPACE |
Parent dropping ACT/SAT scores | Campus Bookstore |
| Know It All parent explaining things for school | Parent asking how to contact student if they don't answer phone | Entire family in tow | Someone saying "this is just a stepping stone" | University President |
| Question for every topic | Swag vultures (they grab 2 or 3 of all the free stuff) |
University administrator which nobody is too sure what they do | You hear of a major you never knew existed "Is that real?" |
Hors d'oeuvres Bonus: Someone takes some to-go |